You know how....

sometimes you really wanna say something but you don't know how without fucking things up? Yeah. That's life at the moment...exactly how it is. And more than likely it will never be said because that's just the type of guy that I am. Today has only made me realize exactly how fast time can soar if it wants to. It taunts, mocks, and even pokes fun at the fact that you sometimes can't keep up with it. And the most I can do is hold on for dear life and go along for the ride. Every once in a while the opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime arises and I either have to Seize it or let it slip through my fingers. It truly will never happen again the same way it did the first time. And what's one to do? Nothing. You can't sit there and cry about it. That definitely isn't going to get you anywhere. You really shouldn't live with regrets. They just serve as a burden and bring you down.

So what can you do?

Seize the Day.

BUT HOW? BUT HOW indeed. You won't ever just Seize it without second guessing it. Even if you don't at first, you may later feel doubtful of what you did. Ok maybe you don't (some of you who read this) but I sure do. And I need to get out of the habit of doing so. Do I ever wanna grow up? Yes and no. I know that no matter how old I get, physically, inside there will always be a part of me that wants to relive a day when I had not a care in the world and lived life to its fullest. This isn't going to be possible if I continue to question my motives and actions.

Then there's that other part of me...the one that continuously says "Why won't/don't you grow up? Why do you continue to be so immature and when are you going to open up your eyes and observe the bigger picture? How is this really going to affect you, IF if affects you? By you doing that, how will it benefit / hurt you?" And so starts the confusion process all over again. I'm back at square one, looking down a Crossroad. The High Road or The "High Road"? They both have the same name, they must be the same right? But at the end of one is another Crossroad that I can see distinctly and the same goes for the other. And so on and so on, I will continue to want to split myself and see which is the better choice when I really shouldn't. Just take one and go with it. Maybe someday I'll eventually cross the other path and I'll have another chance, though of course not the same.

Seize the Day.