When Does It ever End?

Does it ever end? For years on end I have found myself complaining about this and that, putting myself down for every little thing, and letting every little thing get to me and affect me.

WILL THIS TEEN ANGST EVER END?!

I am not only sick and tired of my own BS that goes through my mind, but everyone elses too! Not that it's annoying, but why must we have it? It not only brings down the person who complains spiritually, but those who listen as well.
I find myself wallowing in my own self pityness, destroying my life, which up until that moment was probably perfectly fine. Then comes the thoughts...and the memories. As if that isn't enough add on the stuff going on at that moment, and you have yourself a tear festival. Oh boy those are just fun. DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA! I'm not that weak hearted, that I'll cry about every single thing. It's just I'll start thinking about it all and get all moody, keeping to myself. For example right now is a perfect example of my teen angst acting up. I just wanna scream and yell and let the whole fucking world know what's going through my head. I want you to feel how I feel, to know what I know...

Like everyone else out there...

...I just need someone to understand me.

But I'm 18 going on 19. I can't have that. I never can, never have and never will. Why? Because I'm at that age where I need to start taking care of things by myself, for myself. Sure, every once in a while someone is gonnna listen, but that's all!!! As if it isn't hard enough to find someone to listen, it's going to be just as hard to find someone who listens AND tries to understand, pay attention and help you out.
I know what some of you may be thinking at this point right now. "GOD is the answer"
Yes and No.
Don't get me wrong...I have my own fair share of religion, and yes there are times when I feel alone and I'll ask God. But that doesn't always work for me. I can't sit there and pray for miracles to happen. I feel that sometimes, if not for the most part, I have to deal with it alone. I must deal with it alone. It's my mess right? I gotta fix it without any help and I have to make that miracle happen by any means possible.Am I a miracle worker? No. But I do my best to make everything right.

For now I leave you with those words all jumbled up to make some type of blog. Whether or not these make sense, is up to you.

Aydeeohs for Now and don't foget

Seize the Day.

Oh btw....i hate Teen Angst.